Mortal Kombat: Foodtality

Here's a question for those who looked at this journal and had nothing better to do. If you could be hit with a fatality by any food, what food what it be?

For me, I would have to say it would be a cheeseburger. Although the cheese might stick to me and burn my skin off. Maybe I should sign my will. And take the part about me donating $200 to my TV remote.

How To Pass An Interrogation: The Wrong Way

Question 1: Do you know why your here?/Answer: Do you know why your here?

Question 2: Stop that. We're here to make a deal./Answer: There will be no deal, I want the death penalty. Nothing more, nothing less.

Question: Do you realize what your asking for?/Answer: Okay, I will even through in a murder confession.

Final Question: Wait a minute… you weren't here for a murder, that is a confession./Answer: Yeah, possibilities are endless when you attach a gun to your Air Trecks.

Life Lessons

1.Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2.I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3.I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

4.Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

5.Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

6.We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

7.Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

8.The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

9.Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

10.If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.